This is for your rough draft: 1. Purpose: The purpose of your story was to show how basketball has helped you in your life and dealing with the loss of your grandpa. You made your purpose clear from the very beginning of your story. 2. Dramatic Question: “To the average person or student a sports team is just another after school activity, but at the age of 11 I learned that it was much more than just that.” 3. Emotion: Everyone can relate to your story through losing someone and trying to find something to invest your time in. This story is something that shows how hard you worked and your love for sports. 4. Economy: The details in your story are great and the length of time between each image is good. Your story flows really well. 5. Images: Your images go perfectly with what is being said. People can see those images and know exactly what you are talking about. 6. Audio: There was no audio for this story but you did narrate it very well. I enjoyed watching your story and can’t wait to see what it looks like as a video.
Chelsea, My comment is for your digital story rough on voicethread.
Being on a sports team really can be a family for many students, and is such a positive learning experience. You gain so many valuable skills, not just physically, but interpersonal and social skills, and it can be such an emotional support. I think you get all of these ideas across well in your story. I think it you add anymore to it, I would love to know more about your relationship to your grandfather and why his death was so painful to you. I think it would really add to the sense that sports, and basketball in particular, took his place in your life in some way, and helped you through school when he couldn’t be there. I like the images you chose of your team, as they emphasize the points you’re making about how they were people who cared about you. They were great pictures for that. This is a good story!
This is for your digital story rough draft on voicethread: 1. Purpose- To tell us about how a team became a your family 2. Dramatic Question- I think your dramatic question is on your second slide "after the loss of my grandfather" 3. Emotion- Lots of emotion here. People can easily relate to your story. We have all lost someone we loved, and we can easily see how you were able to throw yourself into sports to keep your mind busy. 4. Economy- a very good length for each slide 5. Images- I liked the fact that you used pictures that go well with the story. Are the bball pics of you and your team?? 6. Audio- no music so far, but I think that when you do add some, make it dramatic at first (for the sad part), but then happy as it goes.
Overall, a very touching story. It will turn into a great video :)
I really enjoyed your story. You made your purpose clear from the beginning, which was how you came to use basketball as an outlet and in turn lean on your teammates to help you overcome the grief of losing your grandfather. I think your dramatic question was when you said, “To the average person or student a sports team is just another after school activity, but at the age of 11 I learned that it was much more than just that.” Your story is one that anyone who has lost a loved one, or even just experienced a tough time, can relate to. It's always helpful to find an outlet and a positive support system to help you through the grieving process. While I didn't think your story was too short, I did find myself wanting to hear more. I would have liked to hear a personal anecdote or memory you shared with your grandfather, and maybe a particularly important success you shared with your team. Just to make the story even more personal and interesting. I thought your images were well chosen, and though there was no music, I thought you narrated the story well. Nice job!
This is for your rough draft on voice thread. I have not used voice thread. It looks interesting and worked well. Purpose: playing a sport Dramatic Question: Sports are much more than just an after school activity. Emotion: I think this would appeal to someone who plays sports. Others can relate to the "family" feeling if they don't play a sport because they probably have a group or community that is "family" to them. Economy: Story is about 2 minutes. I timed myself watching it, although each slide has the time elapsed on it. Images: I thought your images went very well with your story. The school hallway, the long empty road, the court, the locker room, the team huddle. Audio: Very clear
Point of View/Purpose: The story is from your point of view and is to show how your involvement in sports has changed your life. Dramatic Question: The question is how did you cope with the death of your grandfather. Emotional Content: It is emotional because it involves the death of a close loved one, and also shows the bonds people can make on a sports team. Images: The images that you used do a good job at communicating your story.
This is for your rough draft:
ReplyDelete1. Purpose: The purpose of your story was to show how basketball has helped you in your life and dealing with the loss of your grandpa. You made your purpose clear from the very beginning of your story.
2. Dramatic Question: “To the average person or student a sports team is just another after school activity, but at the age of 11 I learned that it was much more than just that.”
3. Emotion: Everyone can relate to your story through losing someone and trying to find something to invest your time in. This story is something that shows how hard you worked and your love for sports.
4. Economy: The details in your story are great and the length of time between each image is good. Your story flows really well.
5. Images: Your images go perfectly with what is being said. People can see those images and know exactly what you are talking about.
6. Audio: There was no audio for this story but you did narrate it very well.
I enjoyed watching your story and can’t wait to see what it looks like as a video.
Chelsea,
ReplyDeleteMy comment is for your digital story rough on voicethread.
Being on a sports team really can be a family for many students, and is such a positive learning experience. You gain so many valuable skills, not just physically, but interpersonal and social skills, and it can be such an emotional support. I think you get all of these ideas across well in your story. I think it you add anymore to it, I would love to know more about your relationship to your grandfather and why his death was so painful to you. I think it would really add to the sense that sports, and basketball in particular, took his place in your life in some way, and helped you through school when he couldn’t be there. I like the images you chose of your team, as they emphasize the points you’re making about how they were people who cared about you. They were great pictures for that. This is a good story!
This is for your digital story rough draft on voicethread:
ReplyDelete1. Purpose- To tell us about how a team became a your family
2. Dramatic Question- I think your dramatic question is on your second slide "after the loss of my grandfather"
3. Emotion- Lots of emotion here. People can easily relate to your story. We have all lost someone we loved, and we can easily see how you were able to throw yourself into sports to keep your mind busy.
4. Economy- a very good length for each slide
5. Images- I liked the fact that you used pictures that go well with the story. Are the bball pics of you and your team??
6. Audio- no music so far, but I think that when you do add some, make it dramatic at first (for the sad part), but then happy as it goes.
Overall, a very touching story. It will turn into a great video :)
I really enjoyed your story. You made your purpose clear from the beginning, which was how you came to use basketball as an outlet and in turn lean on your teammates to help you overcome the grief of losing your grandfather. I think your dramatic question was when you said, “To the average person or student a sports team is just another after school activity, but at the age of 11 I learned that it was much more than just that.” Your story is one that anyone who has lost a loved one, or even just experienced a tough time, can relate to. It's always helpful to find an outlet and a positive support system to help you through the grieving process. While I didn't think your story was too short, I did find myself wanting to hear more. I would have liked to hear a personal anecdote or memory you shared with your grandfather, and maybe a particularly important success you shared with your team. Just to make the story even more personal and interesting. I thought your images were well chosen, and though there was no music, I thought you narrated the story well. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThis is for your rough draft on voice thread.
ReplyDeleteI have not used voice thread. It looks interesting and worked well.
Purpose: playing a sport
Dramatic Question: Sports are much more than just an after school activity.
Emotion: I think this would appeal to someone who plays sports. Others can relate to the "family" feeling if they don't play a sport because they probably have a group or community that is "family" to them.
Economy: Story is about 2 minutes. I timed myself watching it, although each slide has the time elapsed on it.
Images: I thought your images went very well with your story. The school hallway, the long empty road, the court, the locker room, the team huddle.
Audio: Very clear
Point of View/Purpose: The story is from your point of view and is to show how your involvement in sports has changed your life.
ReplyDeleteDramatic Question: The question is how did you cope with the death of your grandfather.
Emotional Content: It is emotional because it involves the death of a close loved one, and also shows the bonds people can make on a sports team.
Images: The images that you used do a good job at communicating your story.